The ICCFL

For all those fans of The Balls that are fans of either AFL or cricket and want to get a gauge on what the equivalent team is in the opposing sport - The Balls present the following comparisons to help you choose a side to follow that best reflects your cricket/football leanings:

India & Collingwood - both have all the money and the largest fan base, but neither of them can quite make it to glory! 

Pakistan  &  Fremantle - exciting and everyone deep down loves  watching  them play.  They  could be glorious, they could crash and  burn.   But you are guaranteed of  entertainment.  Plus both have   been forced to wear one of the worst outfits  in the history of their   respective sorts (Pakistan's 1999 World Cup  outfit and  Freo's  foundation jumper). 

West Indies & Hawthorn - ridiculously dominant in the  80s and strong   in the late 70s and early 90s, but terrible since.   However, both are   starting to hit their straps and have  promising futures after great   years!   (Mix Master D is currently running around the room with no pants screaming out BUDDY LOVE at the top of his voice - in case you haven't figured out by now, he's a Hawthorn fan)

Bangladesh & Melbourne -   you want them to do well, but you just  can't see it happening.   Their  success is good for the game, but  tragically, they are  shite.   

South Africa & Port Adelaide - both  sides were  initially  banned from the competition.  Both sides are widely   despised.   Both sides feature crowds which make their own players  cringe.    And both sides are hated by the Balls.  You know it  makes   sense. 

England & Western  Bulldogs - both sides are heavy on players   not from their own borders.   Plus apart from the odd year here  and  there, but haven't done anything of  note since the 1960s.   Plus they  feature abysmal hair and characters whom  people love  but were recently  jettisoned (think Hoggard and Chris Grant).     

Australia  & Carlton - very successful   but run by corporate jokers with  shady backgrounds.  The players are   traditionally hard to love,  but the new generations seems ready to be   irrepressible (possibly  after a few hairy years).   

New Zealand & St Kilda - two  words:   Constant,  regular heartbreak.  I know it's three, but   that's how much they hurt  you.   

Kenya & Subiaco - people   love watching them  play, but secretly know they're not good enough  for the big   league. 

Zimbabwe & Fitzroy -  were there for a while and  feature many of  the game's greats.  But they  fell apart and were  terrible on the field.   Are now gone...possibly never to   return.   

Canada/US & University -   both were there at the  start...but alas, no more.     

And with apologies to our good friend Damith, we present a late installment:

Sri Lanka & Sydney Swans - Both struggled in their early years before being one of the more exciting teams going around (Kaluwitherana and Capper have a lot in common).  They both had blokes you love to hate (Ranatunga and, once again, Capper) and have tasted success and in recent years, including the pinnacle at one stage (World Cup and Grand FInal)