Mother of God, spare me.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Nathan Bracks Bracken the spinner
So, apparently Nathan Bracks Bracken has decided that he's going to try to be a spinner to get into the Australian Test side.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Buddy Love
Since MC Gregor had a bit of an AFL related diversion (see Kising Cousins), I (Mix master D) thought that it was time to marvel at the wonder that is Lance "Buddy" Franklin.
Coleman Medalist
100 goals in a season (and even more ladies if the reports are to be believed)
Premiership Player
All in the 1 season and all at the age of 21.
Buddy - I love you. If you want me to, I will have your children. I will be your Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Coleman Medalist
100 goals in a season (and even more ladies if the reports are to be believed)
Premiership Player
All in the 1 season and all at the age of 21.
Buddy - I love you. If you want me to, I will have your children. I will be your Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Kissing Cousins
Now for something non-cricket related - Ben Cousins.
The former-West Coast star now looks like he may not play AFL next year, but there remains the prospect of the final pre-season draft as well as the possibility of Cousins being picked up by the Eagles on the rookie veterans list (like Ramanauskis).
As an Eagles fan, MC Gregor doesn't think the Eagles should take Cousins back.
As a Cousins fan, MC Gregor doesn't think the Eagles should take Cousins back.
The Club is only starting to pull itself together again after a disasterous 18-24 months which saw us lose our two best players to drugs and Carlton (not sure which is worse) and go from the Penthouse to the outhouse in record time. We can't look back and rely on a 31 year old with dodgey hamstrings and a questionable former-addiction, no matter how bloody brilliant he is.
The Balls also think Cousins needs to get out of Perth. He is exposed to too many 'underground figures' and is under the insane heat of the Perth press (trust the Balls on this, the focus on AFL footballers in Perth is worse than anywhere else). Ideally, Brisbane would pick him up and help look after him, and his family would possibly move to support him (although he should keep away from those troublesome Qld girls who almost ruined Watto's career).
The saddest thing has been the casting of Cousins as an angel, demon, angel and demon respectively. He has an addiction. It is a medical condition, and I'm pretty sure he wishes he didn't have it. AFL is a source of distraction for him, and he is pretty handy at it.
Here's hoping someone picks him up and gives him the support he needs.
Thanks for the memories Cuss!
The former-West Coast star now looks like he may not play AFL next year, but there remains the prospect of the final pre-season draft as well as the possibility of Cousins being picked up by the Eagles on the rookie veterans list (like Ramanauskis).
As an Eagles fan, MC Gregor doesn't think the Eagles should take Cousins back.
As a Cousins fan, MC Gregor doesn't think the Eagles should take Cousins back.
The Club is only starting to pull itself together again after a disasterous 18-24 months which saw us lose our two best players to drugs and Carlton (not sure which is worse) and go from the Penthouse to the outhouse in record time. We can't look back and rely on a 31 year old with dodgey hamstrings and a questionable former-addiction, no matter how bloody brilliant he is.
The Balls also think Cousins needs to get out of Perth. He is exposed to too many 'underground figures' and is under the insane heat of the Perth press (trust the Balls on this, the focus on AFL footballers in Perth is worse than anywhere else). Ideally, Brisbane would pick him up and help look after him, and his family would possibly move to support him (although he should keep away from those troublesome Qld girls who almost ruined Watto's career).
The saddest thing has been the casting of Cousins as an angel, demon, angel and demon respectively. He has an addiction. It is a medical condition, and I'm pretty sure he wishes he didn't have it. AFL is a source of distraction for him, and he is pretty handy at it.
Here's hoping someone picks him up and gives him the support he needs.
Thanks for the memories Cuss!
Head To Head - Roy v Watto
Look – we don’t want to have this discussion. The Australian selectors certainly don’t want to have this discussion. But it must be done – Andrew Symonds v Shane Watson
MC Gregor: Roy for me. He has form against the Yaapies in Perth, and his swing/spin actually offers bowling variety.
MixMaster D: But MC, when Watto bowls, Angels sing, butterfly's smile and small children skip merrily through the streets. And anyway, who's got the score on the board for Queensland this season. At this point, I will direct you to the most recent QLD shield match where Watto took 7/69 in the first innings and made 80-odd in the second innings. I believe these two innings alone place him above Roy in the wickets taken and runs scored this season.
MC Gregor: The team seems to prefer Roy, and his batting is better suited to number 6 than Watto's is. Plus he has dreadlocks, which are kinda cool. Oh, and he's a marketers dream.
MixMaster D: What? A pig shooting, drunken imbecile? How is that a marketers dream? And to be fair - I don't really care if the players would prefer to piss in Roy's pocket (as seems to be the case), I want someone that can get the job done. And let's look no further than India where Watto was the only bloke that was consistently moving the ball all day in each test. This has been my major criticism of Watto and he's rectified it.
MC Gregor: I like Watto, but just I just don't think he'll ever make it. Its fine for him to bat a bit lower in a shield side, and to have more luck with his bowling. But put him up a level and out of his batting order comfort. Plus, Watto has recently been rubbish in the field.
MixMaster D: True - Roy provides a magnificent asset by way of his fielding. He's clearly the best all round fielder in world cricket at the moment. But how long can that keep you in the Test arena? Watto can bat and Watto can bowl. Symonds is almost a batsman and is a genuine part timer with the ball. The selectors need to bite the bullet and get rid of Punters mate and bring in the bloke that can genuinely turn into the all rounder that all Australia has been craving since Freddy Flintoff showed us what damage they can do.
MC Gregor: I suppose it comes down to this. Roy has performed at the international stage. Watson hasn't. Granted he has had less time, but the baggy green has to be earnt. It isn't a right which comes along with a pilates class voucher.
MixMaster D: Agreed, but Watson's performances over the past few years have earned him an extended run in the Test side - Roy can have the one day side. Watson swings the ball, Watson seams the ball. Watson's bowling was what was always the big question mark. Now, he's turned chiropractor and straightened that question mark into an exclamation point -and trust me, he knows all about chiropractic.
MC Gregor: I'm running out of arguments
MixMaster D: And Roy is running out of time
MC Gregor: Roy for me. He has form against the Yaapies in Perth, and his swing/spin actually offers bowling variety.
MixMaster D: But MC, when Watto bowls, Angels sing, butterfly's smile and small children skip merrily through the streets. And anyway, who's got the score on the board for Queensland this season. At this point, I will direct you to the most recent QLD shield match where Watto took 7/69 in the first innings and made 80-odd in the second innings. I believe these two innings alone place him above Roy in the wickets taken and runs scored this season.
MC Gregor: The team seems to prefer Roy, and his batting is better suited to number 6 than Watto's is. Plus he has dreadlocks, which are kinda cool. Oh, and he's a marketers dream.
MixMaster D: What? A pig shooting, drunken imbecile? How is that a marketers dream? And to be fair - I don't really care if the players would prefer to piss in Roy's pocket (as seems to be the case), I want someone that can get the job done. And let's look no further than India where Watto was the only bloke that was consistently moving the ball all day in each test. This has been my major criticism of Watto and he's rectified it.
MC Gregor: I like Watto, but just I just don't think he'll ever make it. Its fine for him to bat a bit lower in a shield side, and to have more luck with his bowling. But put him up a level and out of his batting order comfort. Plus, Watto has recently been rubbish in the field.
MixMaster D: True - Roy provides a magnificent asset by way of his fielding. He's clearly the best all round fielder in world cricket at the moment. But how long can that keep you in the Test arena? Watto can bat and Watto can bowl. Symonds is almost a batsman and is a genuine part timer with the ball. The selectors need to bite the bullet and get rid of Punters mate and bring in the bloke that can genuinely turn into the all rounder that all Australia has been craving since Freddy Flintoff showed us what damage they can do.
MC Gregor: I suppose it comes down to this. Roy has performed at the international stage. Watson hasn't. Granted he has had less time, but the baggy green has to be earnt. It isn't a right which comes along with a pilates class voucher.
MixMaster D: Agreed, but Watson's performances over the past few years have earned him an extended run in the Test side - Roy can have the one day side. Watson swings the ball, Watson seams the ball. Watson's bowling was what was always the big question mark. Now, he's turned chiropractor and straightened that question mark into an exclamation point -and trust me, he knows all about chiropractic.
MC Gregor: I'm running out of arguments
MixMaster D: And Roy is running out of time
Sheffield Shield: mid-season review
Ok, so the Sheffield Shield has been heavily lumped into the first half of the 2008/09 cricket season. And this means that we are now ready for the mid-season review.
The season so far has been dominated by first innings collapses, some bowling friendly conditions and, as always, has been as predictable as Mitchell Johnson's line and length. So here we go.
Batsman of the season so far
MC Gregor: If anyone would have told me that the standout batter so far would be Michael Klinger, I would have laughed at them, given them a wedgie and urinated on their car. Klinger was, at best, mediocre. But no more. This season he has rattled off 775 runs at an average of a tick under 100. He has scored several tons (all of them very important, including a classy double hundred against an in form WA bowling attack), and a couple of 50s. Consistent is the word. Pomersbach has had a batting chart like a picket fence, while Go North and Rangogers have been improving with each game. A special mention to Rangogers, who is the only opener who has really overcome the new ball problems that have been endemic for the Shield batsmen so far.
Mixmaster D: It has to be Maxy Klinger. For a bloke that was in and out of Victoria more than David Beckham on his wedding night, this season has been remarkable. Maxy always struggled to cement his place in the Victorian side and decided that a change of scenery in the off season would be for the best. And how right he was. 750 plus runs at almost 100 is sublime form for anyone, let alone the number 3 in the worst team in the Shield. Kudos Maxy - hopefully he has the Australian selectors on the phone shortly.
Bowler of the season so far
MC Gregor: Oh how I want to say Go North. But I am going to split it between two polar opposites. One, a tall, smooth-shaven line and length bowler who uses discipline and height to snare his wickets. The other, an extra from a viking porn film who seems as genuinely perplexed as anyone when he hits a length, but who uses speed and dare to snaffle his wickets. Magoffin (McMuffin) and Dirk Nannes (Dirty Dirk) have been very, very good. I think McMuffin is a darkie for a test this year, and I'm just happy for Jrod that Dirty Dirk is having such a cracker - even though he is a dirty, stinking cheat who was banned from bowling against WA after two chest high full tosses (which, to be fair, swung).
Mixmaster D: I so wanted this to be either Noffke or Hilfenhaus. That would've made me a very happy Mix Master. Alas, it is not the case. And whilst Steve Magoffin and Dirk Nannes lead the wicket takers, Ryan Harris is my choice here. Another player that changed States in the off season, moving from SA to Queensland, he has certainly made it worth the Bulls while. In taking 21 wickets at 27 apiece, Harris doesn't have the most impressive average but the thing that impresses me is that his best bowling for an innings is 4/67. To me, this shows consistency across each game he's played. And that's what you want from a bowler. Magoffin and Nannes have gotten half their season’s wickets in just 1 match thus far. And as an end note - let me just say that Mark Cameron from NSW is unlucky to be playing for NSW as he'd walk into any other bowling line up in the country.
Surprise Packet
MC Gregor: Many a fool will say NSW. I say to them, I respect your office Mr Benaud but you are wrong. SA have been a delight. Tait has his mojo back. Klinger has joined with Khan in providing an interesting religious combination (but a successful batting one), and the rest of the side are being ably led by the ever-improving Manou (who is the best gloveman in Australia, and is rapidly diminishing the lingering doubts over his batting). They won't win the comp, and in fact they'll lose more games than they win, but they are competitive...which I don't think many people thought they would be.
Mixmaster D: Burt Cockley. Many of you will be scouring cricinfo to figure out who the hell I'm talking about, but it won't take long to find him. Yet another NSW fast bowler that has just slotted into the Shield team beautifully when he's been selected. After playing one match last season, he has played 3 matches this season and collected two 5-wicket hauls this season and 14 wickets at 17 and a bit. Taking the new ball and outperforming Passion Pop Bollinger in the most recent game against Queensland has only pushed young Burt up in my estimation. That, and the fact that his name is Burt.
Biggest Disappointment
MC Gregor: The Australian selectors. Imagine slogging your guts out in the toughest first class comp in the world, but then realising that genuine numpties have control over your chances to wear the green and gold. I love Merv more than any man should, but I just don't see what the selectors are doing. They have completely demoralised the Australian bowling stocks with some weird decisions and outright clangers, and why oh why do we continue to persist with this Roy/Watson debacle. Make a decision and stick with it! One or the other! OR NEITHER!!! Honourable mention to Tasmania who have been shaken by the Tassie quota debacle, and Queensland who are a one day side playing four day cricket.
Mixmaster D : Spinners, and in particular Dan Cullen. Now, we all know that Krejzy Eyes took 12 wickets on Test debut. But nobody would’ve predicted 6 months ago that he is the best slow bowling prospect in the country. The fact that Marcus North is the best performed spinner in the Shield this season (8 wickets at 30) says a lot. The Aussie selectors may as well resort to having a middle order of North, DHussey, Clarke and Symonds and get the spinning overs out of them. On to Cullen. It’s not his fault that he was anointed as the next in line, but he had the title and needed to damn well make sure he did his best to live up to it. Granted, he hasn’t been done any favours by not being persisted with regardless of his results, but he also has to repay some of that faith by taking something better than a wicket every 19 overs in the 3 games he’s played so far. And from what I can gather, he doesn’t use as much flight as he used to – this can only be a bad thing for his bowling. Come on Dan, come on other spinners – pull your fingers out.
Prediction
MC Gregor: WA will come third, and I will wander into the desert wearing a hair shirt and asking questions about life, its meaning and whether His Shaun-ness will reach form. Oh and Victoria will win the shield. WA the T20 and someone will probably win the one-day comp but I'm not certain about that).
MixMaster D: Philip Hughes will be the next long-term opener in the Australian side (much to the ranting and raving of ill-informed Victorians claiming a NSW bias) and Moises Henriques will continue his development and become the first genuine all rounder Australia has had since Simon O'Donnell.
The season so far has been dominated by first innings collapses, some bowling friendly conditions and, as always, has been as predictable as Mitchell Johnson's line and length. So here we go.
Batsman of the season so far
MC Gregor: If anyone would have told me that the standout batter so far would be Michael Klinger, I would have laughed at them, given them a wedgie and urinated on their car. Klinger was, at best, mediocre. But no more. This season he has rattled off 775 runs at an average of a tick under 100. He has scored several tons (all of them very important, including a classy double hundred against an in form WA bowling attack), and a couple of 50s. Consistent is the word. Pomersbach has had a batting chart like a picket fence, while Go North and Rangogers have been improving with each game. A special mention to Rangogers, who is the only opener who has really overcome the new ball problems that have been endemic for the Shield batsmen so far.
Mixmaster D: It has to be Maxy Klinger. For a bloke that was in and out of Victoria more than David Beckham on his wedding night, this season has been remarkable. Maxy always struggled to cement his place in the Victorian side and decided that a change of scenery in the off season would be for the best. And how right he was. 750 plus runs at almost 100 is sublime form for anyone, let alone the number 3 in the worst team in the Shield. Kudos Maxy - hopefully he has the Australian selectors on the phone shortly.
Bowler of the season so far
MC Gregor: Oh how I want to say Go North. But I am going to split it between two polar opposites. One, a tall, smooth-shaven line and length bowler who uses discipline and height to snare his wickets. The other, an extra from a viking porn film who seems as genuinely perplexed as anyone when he hits a length, but who uses speed and dare to snaffle his wickets. Magoffin (McMuffin) and Dirk Nannes (Dirty Dirk) have been very, very good. I think McMuffin is a darkie for a test this year, and I'm just happy for Jrod that Dirty Dirk is having such a cracker - even though he is a dirty, stinking cheat who was banned from bowling against WA after two chest high full tosses (which, to be fair, swung).
Mixmaster D: I so wanted this to be either Noffke or Hilfenhaus. That would've made me a very happy Mix Master. Alas, it is not the case. And whilst Steve Magoffin and Dirk Nannes lead the wicket takers, Ryan Harris is my choice here. Another player that changed States in the off season, moving from SA to Queensland, he has certainly made it worth the Bulls while. In taking 21 wickets at 27 apiece, Harris doesn't have the most impressive average but the thing that impresses me is that his best bowling for an innings is 4/67. To me, this shows consistency across each game he's played. And that's what you want from a bowler. Magoffin and Nannes have gotten half their season’s wickets in just 1 match thus far. And as an end note - let me just say that Mark Cameron from NSW is unlucky to be playing for NSW as he'd walk into any other bowling line up in the country.
Surprise Packet
MC Gregor: Many a fool will say NSW. I say to them, I respect your office Mr Benaud but you are wrong. SA have been a delight. Tait has his mojo back. Klinger has joined with Khan in providing an interesting religious combination (but a successful batting one), and the rest of the side are being ably led by the ever-improving Manou (who is the best gloveman in Australia, and is rapidly diminishing the lingering doubts over his batting). They won't win the comp, and in fact they'll lose more games than they win, but they are competitive...which I don't think many people thought they would be.
Mixmaster D: Burt Cockley. Many of you will be scouring cricinfo to figure out who the hell I'm talking about, but it won't take long to find him. Yet another NSW fast bowler that has just slotted into the Shield team beautifully when he's been selected. After playing one match last season, he has played 3 matches this season and collected two 5-wicket hauls this season and 14 wickets at 17 and a bit. Taking the new ball and outperforming Passion Pop Bollinger in the most recent game against Queensland has only pushed young Burt up in my estimation. That, and the fact that his name is Burt.
Biggest Disappointment
MC Gregor: The Australian selectors. Imagine slogging your guts out in the toughest first class comp in the world, but then realising that genuine numpties have control over your chances to wear the green and gold. I love Merv more than any man should, but I just don't see what the selectors are doing. They have completely demoralised the Australian bowling stocks with some weird decisions and outright clangers, and why oh why do we continue to persist with this Roy/Watson debacle. Make a decision and stick with it! One or the other! OR NEITHER!!! Honourable mention to Tasmania who have been shaken by the Tassie quota debacle, and Queensland who are a one day side playing four day cricket.
Mixmaster D : Spinners, and in particular Dan Cullen. Now, we all know that Krejzy Eyes took 12 wickets on Test debut. But nobody would’ve predicted 6 months ago that he is the best slow bowling prospect in the country. The fact that Marcus North is the best performed spinner in the Shield this season (8 wickets at 30) says a lot. The Aussie selectors may as well resort to having a middle order of North, DHussey, Clarke and Symonds and get the spinning overs out of them. On to Cullen. It’s not his fault that he was anointed as the next in line, but he had the title and needed to damn well make sure he did his best to live up to it. Granted, he hasn’t been done any favours by not being persisted with regardless of his results, but he also has to repay some of that faith by taking something better than a wicket every 19 overs in the 3 games he’s played so far. And from what I can gather, he doesn’t use as much flight as he used to – this can only be a bad thing for his bowling. Come on Dan, come on other spinners – pull your fingers out.
Prediction
MC Gregor: WA will come third, and I will wander into the desert wearing a hair shirt and asking questions about life, its meaning and whether His Shaun-ness will reach form. Oh and Victoria will win the shield. WA the T20 and someone will probably win the one-day comp but I'm not certain about that).
MixMaster D: Philip Hughes will be the next long-term opener in the Australian side (much to the ranting and raving of ill-informed Victorians claiming a NSW bias) and Moises Henriques will continue his development and become the first genuine all rounder Australia has had since Simon O'Donnell.
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