Thursday, February 26, 2009

Go North - life is peaceful there

And yet, while the bitter taste of Philthy stays in the mouth, it has been partially washed away by the emergence of Marcus North.

On a juiced up Wanderers pitch, with his side in trouble, and having had to endure the diabolical demise of a fellow debutant, Marcus strode out (yes, STRODE) to meet what awaited him. And Marcus liked what he saw.

So now the Aussies are in a strong position on a deck which looks like it has a few tricks in it yet.

And so, once again, we are left to wonder...how would McGain have gone?

Philthy Phil's Philthy Debut

Do we really need to go there? All the build up, all the anticipation, all the family members that he had head over to Jo'berg to watch him. And he does that.

Now, I've played some fairly low level cricket in my time, and even I've never seen such an ugly, ridiculous, disgusting shot on the 4th ball of an innings (granted, i've never watched myself bat, but that's beside the point).

Hayden, Langer, Boon, Marsh, Taylor, hell even Wayne Phillips will be wondering why they ever gave the game away.

Philthy - you stink.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Don't do it David. Think of the children!

It appears the selectors are about to repeat their mistake of India - Boonie (blessings upon him) has suggested that pace and not spin is the best option for Australia in the First Test.

Is the pitch a juicy belter?

Probably.

South Africa has no spinner and feature world class quicks, so would be nuts to go in with a spinning deck. But, so what??

Australia needs to bowl the Sethers out twice. TWICE!. That will require, for the slower amongst us (big ups to Chappers) twenty wickets. Twenty.

Let me throw some names at you. Halfahouse (Duplex), Bollinger (Passion Pop), Siddle (Sores) and Mitchell (WA's most beautiful).

Johnson could bowl his ring off and there is every prospect they would still struggle to get twenty wickets. This isn't being mean - this is a cold hard assessment of a bunch of inexperienced test bowlers. Give them twelve months more, and I'll probably be wrong. But not tomorrow.*

So again we are left at the mercy of some floundering selectors. Will they choose McGain or will they not love Australia.

* The Balls has absolutely no idea what this would mean for the selection of North and/or McDonald. Logic would suggest if its a seamers deck you'd also want a bit more batting support. But logic is a two-faced whore, and would also suggest McDonald could be very effective. Logic is the kind of bastard who doesn't buy a round at the pub.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Eaglehawk 86-08 Backline

The last line of defence and the first line of attack. The blokes that have had, over our football watching lives, the unenviable task of taking on players of the calibre of Lockett, Ablett, Modra, Lloyd, Salmon, Longmire, Lynch, Fevola and Gehrig to name a few. They've also had to take on the small forwards, the resting midfielders and still provide drive from the backline as their team took possession.

Considering all of this, choosing the backline was almost a no brainer.

A full back that could match it with anyone on a lead and in the air, but who could also more than hold his own in the body on body battles of strength. A back pocket that would niggle the small forward or resting rover, beat them with his strength and speed and, when his team was in possession of the ball, would break away to deliver the ball with pin point accuracy to his midfielders. The other back pocket was a man mountain. A man mountain that was aggressive, quick and one of the more skillful players going around. Able to beat most players in a foot race and in a battle of strength, this player was also able to provide silver service to his team mates when delivering the ball.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you The Balls' Eaglehawk 86-08 Backline from the Hawthorn Football Club:

Back Pocket: Andy Collins
Full Back: Chris Langford
Back Pocket: Gary Ayres

Eagles and Hawks - best of our lives

As regular readers of The Balls will be aware, we have a West Coast Eagles supporter (MC Gregor) and a supporter of the reigning premiers Hawthorn (Mix Master D).

We thought that in the lead up to the upcoming AFL season, that it would be a good idea to put our heads together and come up with the best side we could, based on our own viewing of our beloved sides (ie, players from the past 20-ish years).

Now, rather than agonise over the individual positions and end up arguing with each other and someone losing their pants, we've decided to put together a 'best lines' team. That is, the best back line, best half back line, best centre line etc.

This also means that you're not just picking the best players, but those that played well together. That formed a partnershp, a team, a comaradarie, a posse, a gang, a mob, a crew, a murder, a school, a herd, a flock, a pack, a drove, a faction, a unit, a band...you get the idea.

We will do these over the next few days, and if we feel the desire, will compare it to a team that is comprised of non-Hawthorn and non-West Coast 'lines'.

I can smell the anticipation

Head to head - Andrew McDonald v Marcus North

Well, it's been a long time between drinks for The Boys From The Balls, but with an imminent overseas tour coming up for the Australian cricket team (and the subsequent trips to Eastlakes footy club to watch the games on the big screen whilst tucking into a chicken parma) and the AFL season a mere torpedo punt away, it's time to get back on the wagon.

And what better way to do so, than another edition in our "Head to Head" series. This time, it's the 2 blokes seemingly vying for the number 6 spot in the Australian side, Rockin' Ronnie McDonald and Severley Boringly Named North.

MC Gregor

Here it is laid out nice and simply. McDonald seems like a genuinely nice guy. He bowls a tight length. He's ok with the bat and would be a welcome personality in a team which is increasingly full of metrosexuals. But, tragically, he is a red-head and is therefore not suitable for anything other than amusing small children at parties.Plus North is better than him.


Mix Master D

But they're not really battling for the same spot. The way I see it, if the selectors want an all rounder, they'll pick McDonald to play at 6 or 7. If they want an extra batsman, they'll pick North to bat at 6. The fact that North bowls some offies (and seemingly good ones at that) is an added bonus. Kind of like Michael Clarke's bowling. And if Clarke isn't fit, they'll play both of them.

MC Gregor

I think for this test it’s a moot point, but if Australia plays on a spinners deck, then it is North v McDonald. North's right arm orthodox provides a bit of variety from McGain and Clark, and could be a strong bonus. Plus he's going to average 10-15 runs more with the bat. I really like the prospect of North as an all-rounder in the short-term, then fully fledged batter in the medium turn.

Mix Master D

He doesn't really provide any different to Clarke in that they're both part time slow bowlers. Spinner's deck or not, I'm not sure if the Australian selectors would want to burden North with being one of their genuine bowling options. I like to think of him as someone that can be turned to if required, but that shouldn't actually be playing as an all rounder. He is, after all, a batsman.

MC Gregor

He doesn't round arm sling like Clarke, plus I don't think Australia has really overburdened their fifth bowler for a long, long time. Indeed, Symo hardly bowled, McDonald got a few overs, but nothing out of the book. If the pitch is a seamers delight, then I think McDonald might be a better fit this Test. But on all other scenarios, I think having an additional bit of spin (particularly if it’s tight) and having a decent batsman (left hander to boot) would be too attractive to miss out on.

Mix Master D

I think you're just hating on McDonald cos you don't want to get in bed and snuggle with him

MC Gregor

Mix Master, he has no soul. He is the ginger un-dead. I can respect him...heck I can even like him a little...but I don't trust 'im. Plus I am assured that North is, like, the most tops cricket guy eva! OMG he, like, totally rocks.


Mix Master D

For fear of sending you into a youth-induced fit, I'll concede you this. North is a better batsman and should be selected if they wish to have a batsman. However, if they wish to have an all rounder, then McDonald is the man. North's bowling is a handy addition but you wouldn't pick him for it. Just like Michael Clarke (and he took his 6 wicket haul in a Test match).

MC Gregor

So it appears we kind of agree that North should be an option with the bat (perhaps long-term). Our only dispute is on whether McDonald is the better option on all types of pitches. I think that's as close as we're likely to get.


Mix Master D

I've tried to get closer, but you keep on pushing me away

MC Gregor

cough cough